16 Mar

Give Them Confidence

Having to raise two girls puts a lot of stress on a mother.  I was a young girl myself long ago and the world has certainly changed since the days I wore over sized red glasses and had bangs that reached 2.5 inches high.  How am I to ensure the girls have confidence in this new world, not just while they’re young, but in their teen years and right through to adulthood?

No pressure, parents, but this one rests solely on you…. Ok, thankfully not completely, but it’s important we can give them a good base to begin with.

The other day my daughter was drawing a picture at the dinner table. I struggled to sip my coffee in one hand while, with the the other, I was trying to balance a toddler on my knee as she lunged for more crayons to imitate her sister’s drawing.  The girls drew their pictures and I watched in awe as they showed off their work.  It’s a common occurrence in our home.  The girls are always busy drawing/colouring/crafting… (Insert any kid activity, they enjoy doing everything), I participate and life is good.  When the project is done, we’re all pleased, then we do it all again the next day… Or hour.

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This one time, however, I was encouraged to look at these activities in a new light during a visit from my cousin, who’s a father of four. The girls did their artsy thing, I balanced the young toddler as she imitated her sister and they showed off their work as usual.  I didn’t even think twice, but as they finished their work, they showed everyone and asked “do you like it? do you like it?” And of course as an encouraging mother, I replied “yes of course, it’s beautiful, let’s put it on the fridge”.  That’s when my more experienced cousin chimed in, asking the girls whether, more importantly, THEY liked the drawings they done. This struck me really hard.

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It’s more important for my girls to feel pleased in their own work than to seek approval from others.  This is true not simply in their artwork, but for everything in life.  If they learn this at a young age, it’s my hope that they will have confidence in themselves as teenagers and not always seek the approval of their peers.  As long as they can feel pleased with the way they look, their clothing, their grades….  the approval and confirmation from peers and boys hopefully won’t be required, because they have already satisfied themselves with their own confidence.

 

From now on, rather then simply saying “yes, I love the way you managed to rearrange the Christmas tree with all the ornaments at the bottom”, I will be more inclined to ensure they are proud of their own work. It’s a very simple thing I feel that I, as a parent, can instill in the girls; their own confidence and future depend on it.

 

Confidence starts at a young age…

 

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Disclosure: This post was brought to you by Ferring Canada via Mode Media Canada.  The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of Ferring Canada.